waktu chat beberapa hari lalu mom tiba tiba tanya alamat blog ini, mau dia follow katanya... dia baru bikin blog

anak anak kos pada baru bikin blog juga,  barusan mereka saling tukeran link

tapi saya cuma senyum aja. i told them this blog doesn't exist.. well yes, it doesn't exist for public anymore. hanya sebuah blog untuk menuliskan hal hal yang saya pikir dan rasa yang tidak ingin saya tampung sendiri dalam kepala, tapi juga tak ingin saya bagi kepada siapa siapa

cause it's an escape to me. an escape from everything, everyone. 

terakhir kali pas di kebun raya bogor, juni lalu, itu juga hanya lewat foto

kenapa harus liat lagi tadi malem. trying hard to believe that they were just homeless

tapi ternyata tadi malem badan jadi panas, trus menggigil. so they' obviously weren't

ok. postingan ini sebagai pengingat saja. semoga lain kali lebih kuat

the moon was blur. the stars didn't show up

 

still, it was a beautiful night :)

hujan kan berkah ,ya?

tapi kalo ujannya ntar ntar aja gimana... ujannya aja yang besok besok, boleh? karena saya mau pergi hari ini

mendung gerimis biasa lagi mendung gerimis biasa lagi

#jangan galau jangan galau

ada yang salah. selama uts ini saya sering merasa sedang tidak menjadi diri saya yang biasanya. ga ada usaha, ga ada sedih2 nya, ini bukan saya.
mungkin terlalu banyak kerjaan, jadinya semua malah keteteran.. tidak boleh seperti ini lagi semester depan.
teman teman tanya, mungkin karena sibuk di bem? iya sibuk, tapi sibuk main! malah sebenarnya ngebem itu refreshing. saya suka ngebem, terlepas ketika yang direncanakan harus berubah total karena emang harus ber'gantung' pada pihak luar
balik lagi. time management masih sangat buruk sepertinya. sampai bikin uts terpuruk. badan remuk.

relativity #1

bangun tidur. duduk di pinggiran kasur, tertegun. baru dua hari ternyata ga denger kabar dari kamu. ga dapet balesan dari pesan pesan yang aku kirim dua hari ini. ternyata baru dua hari. terasa lama.

ambil hape. ketik yang sekarang sedang terjadi. 

- just woke up... thinking of you... semoga kamu baik baik aja -

lama dipikirkan. hapenya aku taruh balik lagi

buka laptop. log in tumblr. ketik yang sekarang sedang terjadi.

- just woke up... thinking of you... semoga kamu baik baik aja -

lama dipikirkan. tab nya aku tutup lagi.

mungkin lebih baik kamu tidak tahu. karena mungkin ada yang sedang kamu usahakan. 

cukuplah ini aku simpan sendiri. disini

- just woke up... thinking of you.. semoga kamu baik baik aja -

nanti lah, nangisnya sekalian aja

#iklan

sejam menuju lab akm malah nonton infotainment

hmm iya ya bajunya ntar kaya gitu  :3

#edisi galau jodoh hampa akademis

aku berlindung kepada pembolak balik hati manusia

mungkin tadi siang udah terlalu putus asa... 4 uts yang lewat hancur semua... sampe bikin mati rasa... bentuk pasrah? ga bisa jawab, ga merasa bersalah, ga kaya biasanya, hari ini biasa aja, beneran tanpa arah

bentar lagi lab akm... ga tau mau jawab apa

liat grup fb semua dewa, jadi ngerasa bego sebego begonya. tapi tetep biasa aja. malah main fb twitter tumblr blog segala. koar koar gelisah, emang panik,  tapi beneran biasa aja... sudah terlalu putus asa.. bisa jadi

ubah posisi tidur... setengah tengkurep *??? nyium lengan sendiri.. entah darimana ngerasa nyium aroma strawberry body butter, kuat sekali, like it was used to be.

masa jadi anak kos : masa ketika body butter terasa jadi barang mewah -,-

di "interview" oleh 5 orang teman baik. 4 di antaranya berkesimpulan saya over defensive. 

tidak tahu pasti maksudnya apa.

.... mungkin karena memang diletakkan di dalam bilik kaca. aman. tidak merasakan dinginnya angin malam yang menusuk. tapi tidak pula menikmati segarnya belaian angin kehidupan. yah, biarlah. karena saya sangat sadar that it really is fragile. once break, might be fixed, but will never be the same.
jadi, yeah, cukup lah seperti ini saja. lebih mudah.

sunday morning, somehow this blog popped up in my mind, so here I am checking this out

reading old stuffs, I feel like a genius for keeping a journal in this blog during my year.... memories are priceless... and even more to who treasures their past, like me.  and now I think I shall back writing journals again... well, I pretty much did in tumblr, but i know it's different. it's getting overwhelmed in there. now most people already know where to find me when I am not around... yes, it would be my tumblr. which is good. because that's why I posted in tumbl, I wrote to let them read anyway, to give them an update about my life.

but I kinda need a space just for me, or people who don't know me. this blog - which is been unknown. well, there might some people out there knew this blog does exist. but I am sure they've forgotten it anyway due to the lack of updates since a long long long time ago. I guaranteed.  in fact, me myself DID forget this blog. it's kinda became invisible... I no longer put it in my facebook page. and unlike my other website, I didn't put my name as the address. so yeah, now this blog is officially just for me, right? except for random people who might accidentally be linked to this blog by google. hello there! I don't know you you don't know me, so it's not a big deal. let's just read it, forget it, or just close this tab cause you're not gonna find something important in here. bye! thanks for coming!

so many stuffs are in my mind. not even know where to start. one thing for sure after I read my old posts in this blog, I miss him! I think I mentioned him quite a lot - the most silly ridiculous worst best friend anyone can ever imagine. and the curse is in me I guessed. how can we meet someone who is completely different than us but that's actually why all the adventures happened, the life lessons streaming in. helped shaping me in seeing this life. that colors, ethnics, nationality, religion, sex orientation ( right? just like you said.. it's out of your control and you know you're not supposed to, and you are struggling.. fighting it back... i know,  most people just generalize everything, i am sorry). All of those things should never matter. we might think first.... but if we trully love that person, in the end it's going to be: ......................., well, but I love you!

yeah, because it's love... the heart of life!
okay, it's like I am describing you like a great inspiration in my life... well, i guess i'm just missing you